Chapter 4… so now I’ve done MC, Saugus High and Bishop Fenwick. Labor Day Weekend 2000 I would get in my the baby blue suburban with my parents and get dropped off at this shit hole, The Winchendon School. I hate this place with all my fucking heart but I guess I kind of owe them something. Or maybe I don’t. I don’t know. I am pretty sure I cried my first night here. My first roommates both had severe cases of ADHD. I would learn that every non-athletic white kid there had ADHD and their parents couldn’t handle them. There was about 120 kids there. 15 blacks kids who played basketball, 20 white kids who played hockey, 89 Asians (consisting mostly of Koreans) and me. (above picture is The Cottage – my second dorm). Ok….

You had 5 classes per day and had to play a sport each season. The classes never had more than 6 people in them. Each class would consist of me, 2 hockey players, a 7 foot black kid and 2 4 foot Asians. We had to wear jackets and ties. I had a kid make 5 ties for me the first day and I just used those for the next 3 years of my life (1 at the Winch and 2 years of college until I had another roommate make some ties). I had this one class with Sammy Johnson. Guy looked like a fucking troll. He was like 4 foot 2 and had big old buck teeth. It was for Algebra or something. I hated the class but I hated him more. One time he gave me a F for the day (we got graded each fucking day) and that meant I had to stay there for the weekend. (You could go home each weekend if your parents signed you out). My father pulls up thta Friday to get me and they tell him I can’t leave. Dude says, “Fuck you. It’s my son. Are you retarded?” Next thing you know him, Sammy J, and the headmaster go into a room while I sit in the corridor. 15 minutes later my father comes out we all hop in the baby blue suburban and get McDonald’s! The guy can smooth anyone over.

I played a little hoops too at The Winch. I got to sit next to the water boy for the A team and was Larry Bird on the B team. One time we played this school called The Eagle School. All the kids at Winchendon were telling me “good luck” and “play your hardest” and giving me all this inspiration. I loved it. I thought we were playing our big rival or something. We show up and I look over at the team warming up and they all had handicaps… you know one leg bigger than the other…wearing 18 headbands…couldn’t turn left types. We were playing the special school!  Ha ha ha, right? Not so fast. My B team might not have been technically handicapped but they were the closest thing. I scored around 24 points in the first 5 minutes and then was taken out for the rest of the game (or at least that was the plan) however my fucking team let them back in the game. Shit was tied for a bit. Coach looked over at me. I HAD to go back in to save the school’s pride. I’m fucking crossing these poor bastards up. Blocking shots off their head. I scored like 48 points and after the game the kids on the other team asked for my autograph and shit. Their parents took pictures with me.

The other great thing about the Winch was I couldn’t snack like I used to and I had nothing to do besides play sports. So…. I just popped 23 xenadrines each day and played hoops for 3 hours. I lost like 48 lbs. Had a 6 pack (it’s fucking true) JCH! I also died my hair bleach blonde and got a pair of earrings. I looked like a member of NSYNC. I didn’t give a fuck. If I didn’t go there I wouldn’t have got into Babson. But now I blog. I guess I could have cut out the middle man and just started typing this shit in 2001-2002. Whatever.

Anyways it is 8 am and St. Patty’s day….I got plenty of more stories to tell. Fuck Barstool and support the cause. Go Howzyafatha!