Thanks to a tip by a loyal reader I was tipped off to Kenneth Lamar Noid yesterday. While she was discussing the Domino’s old pitch man, The Noid, with friends at work she stumbled up Kenneth’s story on Wikipedia. So what is the deal with Kenneth?

On January 30, 1989, Kenneth Lamar Noid, a mentally ill customer who thought the ads were a personal attack on him, held two employees of an Atlanta, Georgia, Domino’s restaurant hostage for over five hours. After forcing them to make him a pizza and making demands for $100,000, getaway transportation, and a copy of The Widow’s Son, Noid surrendered to the police.^[3] After the incident had ended, police Chief Reed Miller offered a memorable assessment to reporters: “He’s paranoid.”^[4] Noid was charged with kidnapping, aggravated assault, extortion, and possession of a firearm during a crime. He was found not guilty by reason of insanity.

How did I never hear of this? I did the best I could to find out more but this story doesn’t seem to have anymore details except that poor Kenneth never got his helicopter or $100k. They did make the pizza for him though. Is he still alive? Is he still in a mental home? I personally don’t think it is right that the Domino’s CEO is still putting out shitty commercials about chicken finger quality and Kenneth gets made a villain because a corporation decided to target him for an ad campaign. Anyways, I need to learn more about Kenneth. Someone get me more Kenneth info. Maybe I’ll pick up The Widow’s Son, Kenneth’s Catcher in the Rye.