WARNING FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Are you “dick soaking?”
Thanks to a great tip by a howzyafatha follower I learned what “dick soaking” was last night. It was a follow up to my flurry of BYU stories yesterday. I didn’t inquire too much as to how he knew about it but I did a little research and went to Urban Dictionary. Here is the definition:
In the Mormon faith couples who wish to engage in pre-marital activities but do not want to dishonor their faith use the dick soak method. The dick soak method occurs when the males erect member is placed inside the female vagina and lays still. This is the soaking process. The dick soak is a spiritual experience, it allows both partners to connect with each other at a deep level without going all the way. For a dick soak to occur the passionately paused penis must not make a single movement in any direction. It must “soak.”
The amount of soaking needed in order to be an official dick soak is exactly proportionate to the time it would take a dirty dish to soak before being ready to scrub… or just before climax… whichever comes first.
note: If climax is reached during the soak it is no longer considered a dick soak, but sex.
Was Davies dick soaking? Is that why he got kicked off the team? Just dick soaking all over campus? So many questions…what if you make one pump? Is it no longer soaking? What about a side to side motion? Seriously what the fuck is wrong with these people? Sometimes I get stuck watching Big Love because my lady has it on. Never heard of the soak once. I played hoops with a Mormon kid once. He was so fucking ugly I bet he didn’t even get a soak. Must get awkward just sitting there. Probably the equivalent of
when dogs bang. The dick gets swollen so they are stuck to each other for like 15 minutes. My dogs used to be stuck all the time. I always thought they were playing around with each other. Turns out they were doggy dick soaking.
PS – BYU loses first game without Davies. Nice fucking move.
Double PS – Would you rather have a shot at winning a NCAA championship or be able to pump?
Triple PS – I put this story together last night but looks like Davies chose to pump away. Got to love the black guys. They don’t give a fuck. You know the rest of white boys on the team are saying, “Davies, this was our shot man. Come on. Jesus loves you. You can have sex when you are married! Let’s win a title!”….and Davies was saying, “Fuck a title you see the ass on that white girl?”
wait, do you think this ‘dick soaking’ phenomenon has the stamp of approval from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? if so, kid should have been pounding mormon vag all over Utah and citing a lack of pumps when confronted…
for ur info there r 2 kinds of mormon religion. there used to b just one but a branch separated from the original n those ppl r the ones who have many wives n r just plain freaky.
I’ve attempted to soak, but it usually turns into sex 1 inch in / 50% of the way.
i couldnt make it through this post i was laughing too hard
Triple PS is phenomenal.
Former Mormon and BYU student here. “Dicksoaking” has never been and is not now a fad among Mormons, and whomever wrote the urbandictionary.com definition must have been picking random puritanical religions out of a hat and knew nothing about Mormonism.
NCMO’s (Non-Committal Make-Outs, pronounced ‘nick-mohs’), however, are a legitimate and common BYU phenomenon. Anything beyond that risks church discipline, a fact drilled into every Mormon from birth by the old white men on top.
@MG my girlfriend actually mentioned this to me the other day. she told me a mormon chick she works with told her about it. she didnt call it dick soaking though, something else but i cant remember what
No one doubts that old white Mormons are drilling everyone from birth.
Jared – do tell brother. Send your hard hitting expose on the dick soak conversation to tips@howzyafatha.com or bobo@howzyafatha.com
“Honey I did not have sex with this girl, I was only dick soaking”
i always thought a dick soak was when you fucked a really wet girl. telling your boys after “my dick was fucking soaked”
Is that two black people in the photo? I didn’t think there were black Mormons. I though Mormons had a prejudice against anyone other than pasty white people.
On second look, I see it was just the shadow, and there are actually white.
But I still think once there is entry of the penis into the vagina, it still counts as sex no matter who ends up dissatisfied.
Well you learn new dumbshit aout religion everyday; the male Mormons have got to be the best bullshiter when comes down to getting over on sex cheating; this is bullshit
What the fuck is the point of this pretentious, dishonest, absurd, disappointing, clinical, seemingly awkward, pathetic activity? I mean, really, if you wanna fuck, don’t fucking around..fuck! FUCK!
Amen Tanin Amen Tanin
Utah native here. I’ve heard of this on more than one occasion – but everytime someone told me about it it was referred to as “marinating”.
Great read! Laughed my ass off!
Marinating is indeed an odiously named practice at BYU and at high schools all over Utah. You have no idea how many Mormon kids get married so they can fuck.
What’s extra sad is that Davies is a really good kid–he went to my old high school in Provo and is friends with the baby brother of a close friend of mine. I promise you that 90% of those players have done more than “dick soak”, but Davies was the one actually trying to live his own backasswards religion. The irony is bitter.
Sounds like the Bogan/Redneck sex manual
In Out repete if necessary
I have heard the alternative term to be “floating”, where a man inserts his erection in the woman and floats it in her for a while. My assumption is that all women are not always lubed or wet – especially without a sufficient amount of foreplay, so “soaking” does not appear to apply here, but “floating” seems to fit.
Either way, either term, this whole thing is wack-o. Sort of like what President Clinton said, “I did not have sex with that woman.”
Leave it to Mormons to come up with some technical term for them to insist that they did not have sex when they are having sex – it truly is “Emotion without the motion.”
I am watching the trial of Jodi Arias, who killed her Mormon boyfriend, who was having all the premarital sex one could have – except he was also seeing a very attractive Mormon girl who insists they never had sex – and it made me think of soaking and floating.
So, how many Mormon girls marry telling their intended’s that they never had premarital sex – but in the back of their minds they know how many times they floated or soaked.
The world is getting crazier every day.
Can a guy dick soak another guy?
And what about oral dick soaking?
great questions gayboy! this is why i need people on the streets getting me the details
I heard it called “floating”…
Hahahahaha
haha. It is funny to read all the comments even… I am not sure if the phrase exists or not, the definition is against the Church teachings and BYU Honor code. You are not supposed to touch other people’s private spot and dick soaking is above and beyond the level. Plus, it is stupid to do that. Just go and fuck girls!
p.s. I am working with athletes, and most of those dudes are not having sex unless they are not members or do not care the religion.
I think “dick soaking” for gay boys would naturally be, “butt sticking” or “shit bucketing”, or perhaps “dirt-shafting”.
anyone gay men want to clarify what gay black Mormon men on the down-low do to avoid violating the “rules”?