WARNING FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

Are you “dick soaking?”

Thanks to a great tip by a howzyafatha follower I learned what “dick soaking” was last night. It was a follow up to my flurry of BYU stories yesterday. I didn’t inquire too much as to how he knew about it but I did a little research and went to Urban Dictionary. Here is the definition:

In the Mormon faith couples who wish to engage in pre-marital activities but do not want to dishonor their faith use the dick soak method. The dick soak method occurs when the males erect member is placed inside the female vagina and lays still. This is the soaking process. The dick soak is a spiritual experience, it allows both partners to connect with each other at a deep level without going all the way. For a dick soak to occur the passionately paused penis must not make a single movement in any direction. It must “soak.”

The amount of soaking needed in order to be an official dick soak is exactly proportionate to the time it would take a dirty dish to soak before being ready to scrub… or just before climax… whichever comes first.

note: If climax is reached during the soak it is no longer considered a dick soak, but sex.

Was Davies dick soaking? Is that why he got kicked off the team? Just dick soaking all over campus? So many questions…what if you make one pump? Is it no longer soaking? What about a side to side motion? Seriously what the fuck is wrong with these people? Sometimes I get stuck watching Big Love because my lady has it on. Never heard of the soak once. I played hoops with a Mormon kid once. He was so fucking ugly I bet he didn’t even get a soak. Must get awkward just sitting there. Probably the equivalent of
when dogs bang. The dick gets swollen so they are stuck to each other for like 15 minutes. My dogs used to be stuck all the time. I always thought they were playing around with each other. Turns out they were doggy dick soaking.
PS – BYU loses first game without Davies. Nice fucking move.
Double PS – Would you rather have a shot at winning a NCAA championship or be able to pump?
Triple PS – I put this story together last night but looks like Davies chose to pump away. Got to love the black guys. They don’t give a fuck. You know the rest of white boys on the team are saying, “Davies, this was our shot man. Come on. Jesus loves you. You can have sex when you are married! Let’s win a title!”….and Davies was saying, “Fuck a title you see the ass on that white girl?”