I’m two weeks into marriage and already close to filing for a divorce. Dead serious. Let me explain…
I got bigger-than-average thighs. It has always been the case. Even when I was rocking a six-pack back at The Winch I still wore “husky” jeans. It has always been a struggle for me to find a pair of jeans that fit just right. Eventually, I find that awkward 36×31′s in the Macy’s clearance rack and I begin to wear the shit out of them. I find that jeans don’t get comfortable until you’ve worn them 5-7 times and passed out on the couch with them on at least once. I never wash my jeans. I refuse to. It takes me forever to build that perfect mix of comfort and support and with one simple wash that is all gone. Then, after that fatal wash, they are fucking stiff again, it hurts to sit down and I generally just hate life.
After wearing my favorite jeans I always stick them back in the same place (middle row of closet compartment, stage left) and every once in a while when I go in to grab them they are gone. Where do they go? Well, my lady thinks they need to be washed. Even after repeated requests not to wash them she keeps fucking doing it. It isn’t like I was playing with Benny Rodrigues in the Sandlot and got in a pickle forcing me to slide home. I didn’t fall in the ocean after looking for gold with the Goonies. I just wore them out to the fucking bar. There is no need to be washing them. Also, a few months ago while traveling for work I picked up a copy of GQ. In that particular issue there was some queer saying that you shouldn’t wash jeans and this dude was on Project Runway or some shit. If that dude told my lady not to wash them she would listen but not Bobo. Just keeps going against my requests.
So… am I crazy here? Do I really need to be washing my jeans all that often or at all? As long as the socks and boxers are clean I think it is good to go. Thoughts? Anybody want to be the first commenter of the new era?
i do the same thing, bro. On the odd occasion that i am battling swamp upper-thigh they might get tossed in the wash but other than its wear as long as possible before washing.
did elew take his talents to howzyafathatwo.com?
i’m sitting closely by the phone…hoping to hear from elew….
I wash after every wear or every 2 wears. I don’t care what you think about that. They are jeans. If I wanted them to be all stretched and worn out I’d wear sweatpants. Plus with the amount of Frito-Lay products you eat, there is no way you don’t have the stench of Dorito cheese in those things. Step up your hygeine game. This isn’t college.
I’m with Bobo, being a subcriber to GQ I am well aware of the advice they give regarding washing your jeans. The only reason I washed mine recently was because of a visit to a certain location while out in San Francisco.
ah, JCH, you don’t even know me anymore… I would never eat Frito Lay products in jeans… i prefer free-balling in mesh shorts when I do my dirty work…
L Boogie – you should wash those ones three times…
My favorite part of this whole exchange is that L-Boogies mom is a huge fan of the site and is no doubt gonna read this comment. Should be fun to explain.
Bobo my apologies. I completely forgot a $120 polo and $20 nike basketball shorts is your go to these days.
Welcome back though. Good to be here with all of you in the comments section again. Pabs still alive?
That is exactly my go-to…spot on
If I write the blogs, Pabs will come… kind of like Field of Dreams…
Tomorrow should be good
I took a 3 hour shower after leaving, and good point I should wash my jeans a few more times. And here’s hoping that my mother doesn’t know who LBoogie is, but thanks for bringing that up JCH. And for the record, I may or may not be talking about having to wash my jeans because of the beer the CPA spilled all over me en route to wine country or the cocktail the Pizza Maker spilled on me later that evening at Tacolicious.
JCH will never know because JCH was never there…….
Freshly washed jeans suck more than how the Sox season ended and the Bruins season has started.
Howzyafatha.com is back bitches, never doubted this would be the case. Why I never stop rocking my shirt.
So you have been back a day, how many times has Celts come on to say you aren’t funny.
I had to go to another Saugus Kid’s Bruins blog to comment on.
haha i think Pabs hatred for Celts is the one thing I missed most about this site – that and Elews obsession with Selena Gomez
I NEVER wash my jeans and they do just fine! Dirty jeans look much better than clean jeans. I wouldn’t think of washing my jeans. I have some pairs that haven’t been washed in over 4 years (and they won’t ever be either)