Boston.com –

Hey Meredith,

I love my boyfriend but I don’t know if we are compatible. We’re in our mid-late 20s, each other’s first serious relationship, and he means so much to me and takes such good care of me. He’s sweet and cuddly and funny. We’ve been together a year and a half, part of which we were long distance. However, I can’t figure out if there are real problems or if I have found someone awesome who loves me like crazy who I need to accept as is.

Specifically, I am not sure about his drinking. I don’t think I drink much — maybe a glass of wine at dinner on a weekend or a beer or two at a party tops. He’s a big sports-watching, likes-to-have-a-drink-or-two-to-relax at night kind of guy. At a social event he’ll drink a lot — I’ve seen him binge drink in a social setting two or three times. Also, I recently saw a half empty bottle of vodka in his cabinet and it freaked me out because I think that’s a lot to drink. I don’t think he’s had it for more than two to three weeks and he’s the only one who could have consumed it. Based on his family history and things he’s told me about himself and his past, I think he has addictive tendencies, though I don’t think he’s an alcoholic now.

I know that I have addictive tendencies myself, and I have family members with alcoholism. I am careful never to have more than a glass once in a while because I know my limits and I’m not going to tempt fate. I’ve also talked to professionals about these issues. I do not want an alcoholic in my life, or as my partner. My boyfriend and I have talked about my concerns and he reassures me that he is in control of his drinking. I believe him and I’m sure he could let it go if he needed to, but he doesn’t. I have doubts, but I don’t think it’s my place and I don’t want to nag him to stop drinking either.

There’s added pressure to figure this out because we’re both about to finish grad school and we’ll need to figure out where we’re going next career-wise and location-wise. We’re at a point in our relationship where he wants to think about maybe moving in together and to think about marriage. I feel like it’s rushed and that I still need to take care of my career and explore and live in new places. (I’ve told him as much.) We’re on separate pages.

Are these drinking behaviors a “guy” thing? Am I being oversensitive about his drinking? Does it matter? Will it matter in the future? Are we just not compatible?

– Lost in Lynn

What a cunt, huh?

At first I thought this could have somehow been directed at me I read the dude killed a half a bottle of vodka in less than THREE WEEKS! Holy shit, batman. You need to get that dude in rehab stat! All kidding aside I can’t stand when people say this shit. Some people need to drink and it just is what it is. Here I’ve put a set of questions for you, Lost in Lynn, to answer…

  • Has he punched you in the face?
  • Has he shit in your parents bed?
  • Does he not have a job?
  • Does he hit you up for money and go drinking with it?
  • Does he listen to Coldplay?
  • Is he physically unable to fuck you while inebriated?
  • Does he think Barstool is funnier than Howzyafatha?

If you haven’t answered “yes” to any of the above then the motherfucker is fine. Seriously, I get this shit all the time. When I’m not drinking everyone is like, “Bobo you’re miserable today!! You suck when you aren’t drinking! Why aren’t you talking? Blah blah blah… Then I drink and everyone fucking loves me. I’m the belle of the ball, the fucking balls. But the next day everyone is saying I drink too much and I got a problem. Well, what the fuck do you want? Want me to put a show on all the time? OK, then give me my juice. If someone goes to the gym all day like a dick to feel better we praise them. If someone takes pills to keep themselves from jumping off the ledge we understand but if I drink to put up with all your retards I get crushed in the press. It really doesn’t make sense. If everyone likes me when I drink and hates me when I don’t then why can’t I just be drunk all the time? Honestly, I’ve yet to hear a good argument to this day as to why I need to stop drinking. I can do everything drunk that I can sober in fact even better. I don’t ask people for money, I don’t impose on people and I’m funny as fuck. Let me drink.

PS – Who the fuck isn’t “Lost in Lynn” lady?