Remember the good old days when you could just download a MILF Threesome at a Carnival on YouPorn and not have to worry about getting a virus that ruins your entire computer and your company’s payroll system? I guess we are in a new age.

But, honestly, who do these asshole hackers think they are playing here? They think this is my first rodeo? That this is my first time downloading porno? Grow up, Russia. I got one computer that is pretty much just porno so you don’t think I know how I caught my virus? Do you think your Microsoft logo rip off is going to fool me? I’ve been downloading porno when it was still pictures of Anna Nicole Smith’s tits on AOL. Ain’t getting nothing past me, motherfuckers.

And don’t you love when you take your computer to the IT department and they think they’re fucking Chris Rock when they say, “this is what happens when you download too much porn, haha!” No shit. I know it. You know it. It isn’t a fucking joke. I DID download a shitload of porno this morning because I couldn’t find a video that would do it for me. Now I can’t send emails to my clients and my blog is behind. Fuck you and fix my computer. And, yes, I already turned it off and back on.