KISSIMMEE, Fla. — The family of an Osceola County teenager who was arrested and accused of impersonating a physician’s assistant told WFTV that he was released on Monday.  Kissimmee police arrested 17-year-old Matthew Scheidt on Friday after they said he lied about his real job as a billing clerk and managed to get an ID saying he was a physician’s [...]

Chris Johnsons “Noodle Game” is gonna be so fucking stupid now, it will be moronic. I’m glad the Titans paid CJ all the money. Dude is an absolute beast, he is an MVP caliber player, 2K yards, the whole team is based around him, and he was going to make 800K this year base salary. That’s a joke and a total [...]

@pattonoswalt Patton Oswalt “I am the perfect age for this shit.” — Roger Murtaugh, age 22   It just really doesn’t get better than that for a quick twitter joke. PS. I am on twitter now @elew721. I never thought I’d get a handle on Twitter, but it is addicting as fuck. Tweet

A NCHORAGE, Alaska— A 22-year-old Alaska woman said on Wednesday she punched a black bear in the face to save her small dog from being carried off and possibly eaten.    Juneau resident Brooke Collins said she hit the bear Sunday night to save the life of her dachshund, Fudge. She said she discovered the bear crouched down, clutching Fudge in [...]

Jesus christ pal, enough with the whistle, we get it, you’re a gay ref. We’re all happy the don’t ask don’t tell policy is over with, but there’s no need to flaunt it during the game. Some 12 year old QB is trying to explain to the dummy WR what a ”post” is, and this fucking guy is out there whistle dancing around like he’s [...]

Yes, Minka Kelly is still a complete “neckbreaker” after getting dumped by Jeter. What a testament to the legend of Jeters pussy game though, huh? He actually let that go. And he probably couldn’t care less. Chicks like Minka are a dime a dozen to him. Normal guy like me would give Jeter a handjob just to be in the same room with [...]

YORKTOWN, Va. — A Chicago man who quickly accelerated a sport utility vehicle with a cable around his neck decapitated himself after a domestic dispute in Yorktown, authorities said Tuesday. York-Poquoson Sheriff Danny Diggs said a deputy responding to a call of a domestic disturbance Tuesday was taking a statement from the man’s ex-wife when another deputy driving by noticed [...]